Dutch Courage
by Follow-ur-Shadow
Summary: After leaving Lucy to give John and Dutch space, D'avin tries to make up for his mistakes by gong after Khlyen... but the cost might be more than any of them bargained for. (Dutch Soldier, John/Pawter)
1. Chapter 1

Dutch Courage

 **Category** : Angst/Hurt Comfort

 **Pairing** : Datch, Dutch Soldier & Hints of John/Pawter

 **Summary** : After leaving Lucy to give John and Dutch space, D'avin tries to make up for his mistakes by gong after Khlyen... but the cost might be more than any of them bargained for.

 **Warnings** : Minor language and spoilers up to Ep08 'Come the Rain'.

 **Disclaimer** : As always I own nothing. Well I own three wardrobes full of clothes but I feel like that won't help me here...

 **Authors Notes** : Attempting a multi-chapter Killjoys fic! It started off as canon based on the end of Ep08 'Come the Rain' but I get the feeling it will run AU once the next episode airs ;) Feedback is always welcome xx

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John rolled down his shirt throwing Pawter a smile as she set her instruments back on the table. She was still going through withdrawal symptoms but she was weaning herself off, getting stronger by the day and he brushed her arm as she stepped closer, " _hey_... forget about me for a second. How are you doing?"

"You mean aside from the headaches, mood-swings, cold sweats and the general feeling of wanting to die?" Her lips curved into a forced smile but she was genuinely grateful for his support. If her own family had cared more about her mental state rather than their reputation she might have had a fighting chance at kicking the drug habit years ago. "I'm okay, pushing through... you on the other-hand John Jaqobis are officially cleared for active duty."

He scrubbed a hand back through his hair breathing out a sigh of relief. It had been a long three week, made even longer by the fact his brother had jumped ship and his best friend was trying to appease her guilt by smothering him with niceties. It was off-putting as well as unnecessary and he was hoping a fresh warrant would bring a sense of normality back to their routine. He loved her but his bed really wasn't big enough to accommodate the increase in spontaneous sleepovers and he wasn't going to hold his breath waiting for D'avin to fix all his fuck ups.

An instant jolt of regret rushed through him and he tensed letting his hand fall down to the bed. The blame didn't lie solely with his brother. It had been a shitty time to lash out over years worth of accumulated frustration and he honestly felt bad about it but until he knew for sure that Dutch was okay, he'd decided that maybe some time apart would do them all some good. Which had all been going to plan until Pree mentioned D'avin hadn't been in for a drink in over three days. "Listen-" he hesitated, curling his fingers around the edge of the mattress, "I know things have been a bit weird lately... but you haven't heard from D'av have you?"

Pawter drew her lips into a thin line as she turned to busy herself. She was an excellent liar but she liked John. He was genuine, compassionate and honest... the complete opposite compared to what she knew about his brother and she threw the response over her shoulder hoping he wouldn't pick up on the awkward reply, "no, nope... haven't seen him, sorry..."

"Okay." He tilted his head curiously, "want to try that again?"

She stopped what she was doing and braced her arms against the steel-top counter. She'd promised she wouldn't say anything but John had risked his life for her during the black rain fiasco and if she had to pick a side it was an easy choice. "There's something I need to tell you."

He recognized the note of warning in her tone and jumped down off the bed letting his feet propel him forward, "Pawter... what is it, what's going on?"

"I don't know exactly." She turned, her eyes conveying a closeted but sincere apology. D'avin had come to her asking for help and even though she'd been reluctant to get involved she'd caved the moment she'd realized just how desperate he was. She'd agreed to track down a name but the information had brought up ten times more red flags than Doctor Jaeger's had and even though she'd tried to warn him off he'd been adamant about continuing the search with the contacts they'd found. He'd then demanded she have nothing more to do with it and had sworn her to secrecy, taking off before she could stop him.

In her mind she'd kept the promise long enough to give him a head-start but now it was time to come clean. "He showed up here with a name asking for my help... said it was the only way he could make things right."

John felt a wave of unease knot in his stomach as he took a step closer. Part of him was almost reluctant to ask but he needed to know and he reached out curling his fingers loosely around her arm, "what name? _Please_ tell me he wasn't looking for-"

"Khlyen." She confirmed the fact, watching his eyes fill with a tense uncertainty. From what they'd managed to uncover it seemed like he had every right to be worried and she felt a stab of guilt as she watched fear creep tighten his expression. "I'm sorry. It was only after we started digging that I realized he was getting in way over his head. I tried to warn him off but he wouldn't listen."

"What did you find?" There was no option for sugarcoating. The information he had about Khlyen was limited but the bastard had done a number on Dutch and that was all he need to know to draw to the conclusion that the man was extremely dangerous. "I need you to tell me everything."

"There wasn't much..." she admitted, breathing out everything she could remember, "whispers in the black market about some kind of bio-weapon tech linked back to a rouge buyer. It was a dead end but believe it or not we got lucky. One of my contacts ran the name Khlyen and found an encrypted transaction receipt. He got us the info but it was useless without a key so D'avin went underground to see if he could find someone to crack it."

"Damn it." John scrubbed his hand back over his face as he started pacing the length of the floor. His brother was a boneheaded moron. He'd probably get himself killed before getting anywhere near Khlyen and even if he somehow managed to make it out of everything unscathed then Dutch was going to beat the shit out of him. Either way his brother was royally screwed. "This isn't good. This is so very _not_ good."

"John..." Pawted approached him cautiously, placing a hand on his shoulder to still the momentum. When he stopped she offered him a sympathetic smile in return, "he's doing this for you. When I tried to get him to back off he said it was nothing compared to what he owed you."

A frustrated groan tore from the back of his throat. It was his fault. He'd told D'avin to fix his mistakes and this was the result; a black and white -albeit noble- gesture that was somehow going to make up for everything that had gone wrong in their family. Even though they were related sometimes it felt like they were worlds apart and the only rational conclusion he could think of was that one of them had to be adopted. "He's is an idiot."

Pawter lifted up her hands in mock surrender, " _hey_... no arguments here."

"Yeah." A bitter laugh escaped as he turned back to the bed to grab his jacket. Dutch was going to be pissed but no matter what had transpired between her and his brother he knew she still cared. In fact he suspected that was largely part of the problem.

"Thanks," he blew out a sigh as he approached the doctor, "you didn't have to tell me but for what it's worth, you did the right thing." She dropped her head and he knew she still had doubts but that didn't deter him. Even though it wasn't his place to pass judgment the more time he spent with her the more protective he felt and he couldn't stop himself from reaching out to brush her cheek. "For the record you could do a lot better than him."

She glanced up, drawing his hand away with a curios smile, "is that an offer Jaqobis?"

He let got of her fingers though there was still a serious undertone to his answer, "you know what, I think it just might be." He stepped away from her not quite ready to take their flirting to the next level, at least not yet. D'avin was in trouble and that was his number one priority but when thing settled down maybe... just _maybe_ , he'd allow himself entertain the idea.


	2. Chapter 2

"Lucy, where's Dutch?" John walked the length of the ships corridor, lightly tapping the steel arches as he brushed past them. He had a bad feeling and not just because his brother had gone off on a half-cocked mission. Dutch didn't need protecting. She needed support and stability, not someone running off to fight her battles and he hesitated as Lucy's voice rang out around him.

 ** _"She's in the cargo hold John."_**

The familiar tone was comforting but he couldn't bring himself to smile as he took the next sharp left. He wasn't looking forward to the conversation and when he reached the ladder he stole a deep as he started the descent down.

His feet hit the ground firmly and he straightened, wincing as Dutch landed a hard punch into the boxing bag across from him. "You're not going to like this but we've got a problem."

She grabbed the bag breathing heavily as she steadied herself. He had his serious face on, the one that said he wasn't screwing around and she tensed as he strode across the floor. "Something new and different?"

" _Hardly-_ " he let out a sigh as he came to a stop in from of her, "D'avin found some kind of dodgy lead in the black market. Pawter said he's going after Khlyen."

"Shit _._ " She sucked in a sharp breath, visibly paling as she struggled to get her gloves off. This wasn't a game. D'avin was strong, resourceful and capable but Khlyen would kill him without even blinking. He was dangerous and now both Johnny and his brother were in the firing line because of her. "We need to find him."

"Agreed." John watched her throw the gloves down, catching the flash of fear that brightened her eyes before anger masked the emotion. He knew all her tells and could see she was trying to keep her emotions in check so they wouldn't cloud her judgment but she was scared and that alone made him feel uneasy.

"Damn it." Frustration shot through her as she scrubbed a hand up over her face. The last few weeks hadn't been easy on any of them but time was helping. She'd even been considering going to him with a few personal effects, a sort of peace offering but at this rate he'd be lucky if he was alive to use them.

"What the hell is he playing at?" She threw her hand down to her hip as she circled back, glancing up to catch John's gaze. They needed to move and fast. "Plan?"

He blew out a dejected sigh. It was like looking for a needle in a haystack and in all honestly running around trying to keep tabs on his brother was starting to grate against his patience. "Dav's off the grid and he's had a three day headstart. The neuro-link _might_ get us to Khlyen in a day or so but that could be too late."

He was right. The black market could be every bit as dangerous as her former mentor and she bit down on her lip crossing her arms as she addressed the ship, "Lucy can you trace D'avin's coms?"

 ** _"Negative Dutch. D'avin's coms have been deactivated."_**

John clicked his fingers as an idea suddenly surged in his head. It was a long shot but he knew his brother and the man -despite acting to the contrary- wasn't stupid. There was a big difference between deactivated and disabled. "Lucy, what if we send a direct burst to the frequency. We might no be able to get a lock but there might be just enough reserves to triangulate an area location."

 ** _"It's highly unlikely that-"_**

"Lucy," he cut her off holding Dutch's gaze, "...just try it, _please_."

 ** _"Of course John. I will make the calibrations."_**

"Thank you." A wave of relief washed over him. If they could find D'avin before he got to Khlyen then they had a fighting chance. If not they were going to have to rely on Plan B and while they did have a backup plan, he had no idea how far along it had progressed. "What about the-"

"I've got it." Dutch held herself tightly, trying not to think about the ramifications of procuring the weapon and what he was suggesting it be used for but they needed to be prepared. The last time she'd been face to face with her mentor she'd stabbed him and he'd walked away completely unscathed. If she wanted answers then she was going to have to do what was necessary.

"Good." He steeled himself letting the matter drop. She was clearly reluctant to talk about the device and he understood her hesitation. It was dangerous and no matter how well she managed to hide it they both knew enacting the plan would mean crossing a line. The only thing he didn't know was if she was ready to do it for herself or if she would do it solely to protect D'avin. "This thing with you guys, it's serious isn't it."

It was a rhetorical question and the way she averted her gaze made him sure of the fact. He'd hoped it was just a fling, that they could move on from it and somehow fix what had been broken but since his brother had left the ship one thing had become glaringly obvious; she didn't blame him. She wasn't pissed at him for hurting her, she was mad at herself for being left vulnerable. "You know this isn't your fault right? We'll find him, he'll be okay."

She swallowed roughly unable to accept his reassurance. It was _all_ her fault. She'd allowed herself to get close, to have a physical relationship with him and then she'd all but driven him off the ship. If he got hurt then she didn't know if she'd be able to forgive herself or if it came down to it, if John would either. "Will we be okay?"

"I don't know..." he let the sentence hang, feeling a slight wave of guilt as her gaze dropped. She was supposed to know him better than that and it hit him just how was vulnerable and how much she genuinely cared for his brother. "I do know I'm not going anywhere, that I will always be here to support your choices even if they are monumentally bad ideas-" he took a step closer pressing his hands against her shoulders, "...and I won't judge you but I _will_ give you hell so I guess that makes it your call."

He grinned as her lips pulled into a small smile and he opened his arms. No matter what happened they were each others constants and he breathed out a sigh as she stepped into his embrace. They would figure this out and then, after he punched his brother for being an idiot, the two of them were going to have a long conversation about the meaning of the word team and the importance of family.

He couldn't keep fixing his brother's mistakes but he _could_ give him a shove in the right direction because, despite all of D'avin's good intentions, his brother clearly needed the help.


End file.
